I don’t know how some go
from thinking they knew forever
to finding someone new.

I know now there’s someone out there for everyone,
I truly believe that,
but for a long time, I didn’t.

When I left everything I knew,
the relationship I thought was forever,
it was just that,
the end.

I didn’t dream of beginnings,
I asked only: what do I do with myself?

Because if I could get to the place of divorce,
then truth was,
as hard as it was to face,
part of that was me.

I owned it.
I made choices.
I stayed when I should have left.
I said things I shouldn’t have said.
I did things I shouldn’t have done.

But if I didn’t work on the woman
who got divorced,
how could I ever show up better
in love again?

So I buried my thoughts of another relationship.
Sometimes it’s like that.
Others jump back in so they don’t have to grieve.
Some sit in the grief forever.
And some sit in the silence,
learning to love themselves enough
to let love in again.

For me,
jumping back into love was impossible.
I was defeated,
guilt, pain, shame,
a thousand shoulda coulda wouldas
weighed me down.

And when I did, briefly,
let someone in,
their presence only showed
the wounds I hadn’t yet healed.

So when people ask me,
Why are you still single?
The truth is,
I had to learn to love myself.
Not again.
For the first time.

And that’s no one’s fault.
We just forget, sometimes,
to give ourselves the credit we deserve,
the praise we keep waiting for outside of us.

The good job.
The you’re beautiful.
The I can’t wait to spend time with you.

It was always meant to begin with me.
And once you are that person to yourself,
the world mirrors it back,
and love arrives,
steady, certain, true.

Did I ever think I’d say this?
Absolutely not.

But this is where I am.
And until love finds me,
I am happily
Wandering the Wild Mess

– Heather Dyan Morgan

#WanderingTheWildMess #Delulu #DatingAfterDivorce #SoulmateLove #HealingJourney #SelfLoveFirst #GrowthMindset #PodcastLife #DatingCulture #InnerWork #Love

If this resonated with you, you’ll likely love my podcast. It’s where I share the raw, the real, and the wild mess that led me home to myself.

Find the recent episode: When Dating Feels Like a Job You Don’t Want to Apply For
on Wandering the Wild Mess, wherever you get your podcasts. Apple, Spotify, & YouTube

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