And then it hit me
no longer being married
means being alone.
And being alone
means choosing myself.
And choosing myself..
God, it’s beautiful…
but it’s also quiet.
Too quiet sometimes.
Because in the stillness,
there’s nowhere to hide
from the truth I carry…
that if love is ever going to find me again,
I have to let it.
I have to open the very thing
I spent so long trying to rebuild.
A once shattered heart..
in pieces I didn’t know how to hold,
let alone heal.
I just got it beating again.
Soft. Careful. Mine.
And now I’m supposed to…
offer it?
Place it in someone else’s hands
and trust
they won’t hurt it?
I guard it..
not because I don’t believe in love,
but because I finally believe in me.
Because I know what it took
to bring myself back to life.
And still…
there’s this ache.
This quiet, steady ache
to build something with someone.
To laugh in a kitchen that’s ours,
to dream out loud
and not be the only one listening.
To not always walk the line alone.
And some nights,
I find myself there again..
on the floor,
whispering to God,
“Either take this desire from me…
or bring me the one
who can hold it.”
– Heather Dyan Morgan
If you enjoy this, find my podcast “Wandering the Wild Mess” all streaming –
links at http://www.wanderingthewildmess.com
#startingover
#selflovejourney
#healingafterdivorce
#choosingyourself
#emotionalhealing

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